Moving home can bring with it many challenges, not least the psychological impact on children.
For many, it’s not just a change in their home environment, they may also have to move to a new school and settle into a completely different routine.
Dr. Chamber Fleurya registered educational psychologist at HCPC, said: “Moving can bring uncertainty about what lies ahead. Children may feel anxious about their new bedroom, neighbourhood, school or making new friends.
“Every child responds differently, but those who have not yet developed strong coping or resilience skills may find these changes particularly overwhelming.”
So, while adults will naturally focus on the more practical aspects of moving — packing boxes, arranging moving schedules, dealing with moving companies — it may look very different for children, especially if their current home is the only home they’ve ever known.
Hayek O’Leary, Chief Sales and Marketing Officer Tilia Houses“Families often spend a lot of time planning the practical side of the move, but it can also be important to think about how the move will feel for children day to day,” he said.
“Small details, such as when they will empty their bedroom, whether they have familiar items nearby, or when they will become familiar with the local area, can make this move more manageable.”
How do you find out if your child needs extra support?
Every child is different, so each will respond differently to moving home.
“Children do not always express their fears verbally. Instead, anxiety or dysregulation can often manifest through changes in behavior or emotions,” Dr. Fleary said.
“Parents may notice an increase in clinginess, irritability, crying, or anxiety. Some children may appear withdrawn or quieter than usual, while others may appear more emotional or have protest behaviors, such as arguing against the idea of moving.”
“In addition, sleeping difficulties, nightmares, changes in appetite or a temporary return to previous behaviors, such as bedwetting or wanting more comfort from parents, may also be common. These may be signals from the child that he or she needs more reassurance and a sense of security from his or her parents.”
How can parents help children settle in when moving home?
So, what can parents do to support their child through this change and ensure that their experience is positive and calm? Here, Dr. Fleary offers her advice.
1. Talk to your child early
Talking to your child as early as possible will ensure that they have enough time to process what is happening and ask any questions.
“Preparation is one of the most effective ways to reduce anxiety,” Dr. Fleary said. “Talk to kids about this step early, just as you are preparing them to start school or another big transition in their lives.
“Encourage questions, acknowledge mixed feelings, and be honest about the exciting and challenging aspects of moving.”
Dr. Fleary also suggests creating a “picture” of what’s going to happen — talk your child through the moving timeline, and show them pictures of the house. Also explain what will remain the same – for example, family routines or traditions.
2. Involve your child in decisions
By giving children small roles in the transition process, you can help them feel more connected to the change. Take them on visits home, explore the area and involve them in packing their own belongings or choosing decor or items for their bedroom.
“These experiences help replace fear of the unknown with familiarity and an increased sense of ownership,” Dr. Fleary explained.
3. Maintain your routine as much as possible
Amid the chaos of movement, familiar routines can help maintain a sense of calm.
“Maintaining a routine is equally important,” Dr. Fleary said. “Maintaining regular meal times, sleep rituals, and family traditions provides reassurance when other aspects of life change.”
On moving day itself, Dr. Fleury suggests arranging childcare, especially while moving furniture with the doors open, as this can be stressful.
4. Prepare the children’s bedrooms first
Once the family arrives in the new home, preparing the children’s bedrooms early can help make the space more familiar from the first night.
“Before trying to unpack everything at once, it can help to prioritize which spaces kids will use first, especially their bedroom,” O’Leary said.
“Making their bed and favorite toys nearby and putting their familiar belongings in place can make the first night seem much easier, even if the rest of the house is still full of boxes.”
Meanwhile, Dr. Fleary suggests putting a beloved or familiar item on display for added comfort.
“A soft, treasured toy, familiar bedding, family photos or a favorite pillow can provide emotional reassurance and help children regulate feelings of uncertainty while adjusting to their new surroundings,” she added.
5. Be patient and keep checking
Some children may take longer than others to settle and may need more reassurance while adjusting. It may be normal for them to feel the impact of moving long after moving day.
“Once the transfer is complete, don’t forget to keep checking on the kids, as many changes will occur over time after the initial transfer date,” Dr. Fleary advised.
She added: “Above all, parents should remember that children do not need to be protected from all difficult feelings.
“Feeling sad, anxious, or unsure about moving is a typical response to a major life change. The most protective factor is having responsive adults who listen, validate those feelings, and provide constant reassurance.”
